We Changed Our Minds

Hi Everyone!

I wanted to share something that has been on my mind and I think will help someone out there…

When I was pregnant with Callie I read soo many articles, like for real, I read everything I got from baby bump, everything I saw shared on FB on how to raise a child and I googled everything I had a question about. I learned a lot of things that helped me when she was born and her first year of life. There was one article in particular I remember reading (but don’t remember the link or name) where the author said something like this… When you are pregnant give yourself some grace and permission to change your mind. One, because you are pregnant and emotions/hormones are all over the place so the way you feel one day might change  another.  And two, because every child is different and what you expect from your baby might not always be what you get from them.

This advice was HUGE! After reading so many articles beforehand I had pretty much decided on EVERYTHING-breastfeeding, formula, organic food, swaddling, co-sleeping, crying it out, etc. etc. But the truth is that you need to let yourself change your mind and that’s exactly what I did. I was set on only breastfeeding but soon realized how hard it was and the little help I needed and supplemented with formula every once and awhile. And that’s OK!

I still use this concept till this day. Joshio and I both grew up with spankings and I knew that when my child misbehaved I was going to use spanking to discipline her. However, recently we’ve had a change of heart. I felt like we were spanking Callie for every little thing or at least threatening her with it. Let me clear up that spanking for us is getting a wooden spoon (pallita) and tapping her on the bottom just enough to make her realize what she had done was wrong. We DO NOT beat our child, I repeat-we DO NOT beat our child.

So anyway back to the story…It  dawned on me that eventually a spanking isn’t going to mean anything to her if we do it so frequently. I spoke with Joshio and we decided to introduce time outs instead and leave spankings as the last resort or if Callie did something over the top. I didn’t feel pressured to continue spanking or like I was letting someone down, I felt completely fine with the decision because I know parenthood is a learning process and things change. We don’t always have it down packed and we make mistakes. Sometimes I feel we do things just because we said we were going to do it and don’t want to look bad or like we’ve made a mistake. We do them even if it doesn’t make any sense! Trust me, I’ve done this before with my husband-We’ll get into an argument about something and even though he makes complete sense and he’s right, I’m still stubborn because I started off thinking a certain way and I’m not going to change it because I’m too proud. It happens to the best of us…

We actually realized that with Callie’s personality, time outs were much more effective because she hates being left out. She’s more scared of time outs than spankings!

So if you are a parent of any age child my advice to you is to give yourself permission to change your mind-It’s OK-I promise.

 

That’s all, have a blessed day!

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