This is a pretty personal topic but I’m one of those people that likes to talk about what other people are not talking about. Also, I hate it when people act or make it seem like their lives are perfect when in reality we’re all struggling with something one way or another. I try to be as transparent as possible to 1) hopefully share my experience and let someone know they are not alone and 2) receive feedback to know that I am not alone!
If you haven’t already realized it, I have a little girl that is now 20 months old. She is beautiful, she is sweet, and she is ours. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter and I never would’ve imagined being blessed with such an amazing baby.
We waited 5 years until we decided to try for a baby. We got pregnant right away and my pregnancy with her was a breeze.
We knew we wanted our kids pretty close in age so once Callie turned 1 we decided to try for the second baby and BAM! – First try, we were pregnant again.
At 11 weeks we found out that we had miscarried. It was a very difficult time and you can hear more about that story here.
After my D&C surgery the doctor told me we could start trying again when I got my first period. Exactly a month later I got my first period, we tried- no luck. My second period came and we tried again, no luck. My third period came, we tried- no luck.
People always say trying is the fun part, uhh-NO! They’re wrong! The truth is that when you really want a baby, when you really want to be pregnant again and feel kicks in your belly, you honestly have no patience and every passing period is another month of waiting. It would be different if you could try whenever you wanted and were fertile all month, but the fact that you have to wait another and yet another month is so annoying. Each passing month is more time between the next baby and Callie (there goes our “Having them close” plan).
Especially when you are used to getting pregnant so fast, the waiting is just torture! You start thinking; something must definitely be wrong with my body, maybe I was just a one hit wonder? No, I am definitely being punished! Yup, that’s it!
All I want to do sometimes is cry… sit in my misery and cry.
Then, it happens….God starts talking to you and encouraging you to keep going. People are placed in your life at the right time and moment to give you the exact words you need to hear. This past month was hard for me. I was getting very impatient, frustrated and angry. What got me through it was talking to women that have experienced the same thing. They have lifted me up and have given me the extra push that I needed. And when those annoying thoughts of doubt or despair come to haunt me I have been able to cast them out and say “Nope! That’s not for me! “God has a different plan for our lives”.
As my fourth period decided to show up, my mindset was completely changed. I wasn’t sad, mad, annoyed or angry. I said “Oh well, we’ll try next time” and that’s it!
There are two quotes I heard from two different preachers this past month that have helped me tremendously and if you are going through a waiting season in your life or experiencing a difficult situation, I hope they can encourage you too:
Fear and faith cannot coexist. You cannot be a woman of faith and a woman of fear. Which one are you? –Choco De Jesus
Waiting time is God’s time to strengthen our faith. – Charles Stanley
They are so true! The waiting season is tough, whether you’re waiting for a baby, a spouse, a new job, or a miraculous healing. Just remember that as tough as it may be and as impatient as we may get, if you put your faith in God-He will never fail and through it all He has a plan! And honestly, what could be better than God’s plan for our lives??
I leave you with a few bible verses to keep you going.
- But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 8:17
- Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 3:16
- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
God Bless you my friends! 🙂Share This: